


The Harder Path

by blueboxesandtrafficcones



Series: Fic Prompts - Broadchurch [7]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Casual Sex, Developing Relationship, F/M, Relationship Problems, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboxesandtrafficcones/pseuds/blueboxesandtrafficcones
Summary: Because if there’s one thing he’s sure of in this life, it’s that they weren’t built for taking the easy way.Or: Hardy and Miller try to navigate a blossoming relationship their way - which does not include open and meaningful communication.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Fic Prompts - Broadchurch [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/970344
Comments: 7
Kudos: 129





	The Harder Path

“What are we doing?” Folding his right arm behind his head Hardy watched as Ellie redressed in a hurry, content to stay propped against his headboard.

Sitting on the bed to put her socks and shoes on, she glanced over her shoulder. “ _I’m_ getting dressed so we can get back to work. I don’t know what the hell _you’re_ doing, other than being a perv.”

“I _meant_ …” he waved his hand vaguely over the bed, sitting up. “First you show up at two a.m. and shag my brains out, then suddenly we’re spending our lunch breaks in my bed.”

“Are you complaining?”

“No.” Concerned eyes watched her check her reflection in the mirror. “I just… don’t understand. I figured we’d talk about it at some point, but it’s been a month and you haven’t said anything. What _is_ this?”

Ellie shook her head, scoffing as she crossed to where he sat. “Figures you’d be the girl about it. It’s sex, okay? Can that just… be enough?” Bending down she kissed him, sucking on his lower lip and making his brain short-circuit.

“El-”

“Please?”

He sighed heavily, giving in. He still needed answers, but it was clear he wouldn’t be getting any today. “D’you know where my pants went?”

* * *

“This is incredibly inappropriate,” he mumbled against her lips, even as he pressed her harder into the door. The basement supply closet was hardly what he’d consider to be a romantic rendezvous spot, but when Ellie dragged him there in the middle of a nightshift and started undoing his trousers, he wasn’t going to complain. Much.

Ellie nipped at his adam’s apple, slipping her hand into his pants and fisting him. “Dear God you bitch a lot for a bloke getting shagged on the regular.”

“I like my job,” he grunted, undoing her trousers, “and I like doing it with you.”

“Just fuck me,” she said, “before someone notices we’re missing.”

That was an unlikely scenario, though hurrying still seemed like a good idea – but he was reluctant to make it _too_ quick. “Yeah, yeah.” His fingers wormed their way into her knickers, finding her already dripping. “Shit, the hell you been doing at your desk, Miller?”

She pushed her trousers down to her knees, kicking one foot free and setting it on an overturned bucket next to them. “Stop talking.”

Hardy shook his head, digging a condom out of his back pocket before lowering his own trousers enough. The last time he’d had sex on the clock, _at the nick_ , Tess had been pregnant with Daisy and insatiable. Ellie’s nimble hands snatched it from him, rolling it on and tugging him closer.

Her eyes slipped shut as he pushed inside, and he paused once seated to stare at her face. In truth, he wasn’t the type of man for casual sex. He wanted a connection, _love_. And he loved Ellie, that he’d been certain of for years now. The question was, did she love him? Was she just scared, after Joe? He wouldn’t blame her for that, but he needed to _know_.

He needed more.

“Al- _ec_ ,” she whined, and against his better judgement he gave in, slowly starting to move his hips.

If it weren’t so damned satisfying, he would’ve put a stop to it long ago.

* * *

He woke to the sound of his bedroom door creaking open, and checking the clock, he sighed. She was like clockwork, but this time, he was determined to get some answers out of her first.

“You can turn the light on.”

“I’d rather not,” she whispered, the rustle of fabric as she stripped, and his conviction wavered.

Setting his jaw he turned on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a soft golden glow.

“What’d you do that for?” Ellie asked crossly, sitting on the bed by his feet.

Hardy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t-”

“No,” he held his hand up, “stop. _I_ need to talk, and you need to listen.”

She scowled but nodded, crossing her legs in front of her and waiting expectantly.

“Right-” He had honestly not expected to get this far, and floundered for a moment. “Okay. We’ve been sleeping together for a while now. And, it’s brilliant, no question. But… what are we _doing_? What is this? And before you go saying all the things you’ve _been_ saying… It’s just you and me here. Please, I need you to be honest.”

Ellie’s expression softened, and she dropped her eye to stare at the duvet. “Why does it matter?”

“Because I love you.” He hadn’t intended to say it, but once it was out there hanging between them he couldn’t bring himself to regret it even as her head snapped up, eyes widening in fear.

“What the _fuck_? Hardy!”

“I love you,” he repeated, reaching for her hand, “and I can’t keep… doing this. It’s all right, if you don’t love me back, but honestly I’m not even sure if you trust me.”

“Of _course_ I trust you!” She had the audacity to look offended, brow furrowing. “How can you say that? You’re the only person in the world I trust!”

“Well, it doesn’t feel like it.” Hardy took a deep breath to get his rising temper under control. “I have no idea what you’re thinking or feeling, Ellie. In all the years we’ve worked together, I’ve never felt more out of sync that I have in the last six months. Whatever’s going on… It can’t continue. Not as it is.”

Her lower lip wobbled, eyes filling with tears. “You’re ending it? Seriously?”

“That’s up to you.” He cupped her cheek, thumb wiping away a stray tear. “As I said, I love you. I’m _in_ love with you. You’re breaking my heart, El.”

After a moment she knocked his hand away, wiping her own tears. “Fine. I’ll see you Monday.”

And then she was gone as quickly as she’d arrived, only she took all of the heat with her. Hardy sat in his bed watching the door for a long time, before finally turning out the light to try and sleep.

When he finally passed out, it was to dream of how she’d treated him during the start of Joe’s trial, so many years before.

* * *

A week passed, then two, and he was fairly certain the only reason no one asked him about the distance between himself and Miller was the dark glare he gave anyone who came within five feet of him.

Friday finally came, and he had the whole weekend off. Shutting down his computer, he sighed as he walked past Ellie’s desk. She’d taken to coming in even earlier now, leaving a solid hour before his normal time. Having nothing better to do with Daisy in London at uni and his only friend resolutely ignoring him, he was racking up as much overtime as Jenkinson allowed just to keep himself busy.

Walking out onto the sidewalk, his shoulders slumped as he tried to think of something to do. The chief had caught him the previous week trying to sneak casefiles home, and reamed him out for trying to work off the clock and skewing their numbers.

Glancing towards the right, he spotted a lone figure in the distance sitting on the seawall. He was tempted to ignore it, pretend he hadn’t seen her, but no one would believe that – one could probably see that hideous neon orange windbreaker from fucking Mars.

When he was ten feet away he deliberately scuffed his feet, making enough noise to try to alert her to his presence.

“Hi,” she sighed, and he frowned to see her shoulders hunched. She looked as pathetic as he felt, and when he slumped down next to her he figured they made a sad pair.

“Hello.”

“Joe got married.”

“What?”

Ellie sniffled, nodding at his incredulous expression. “I found out about two hours before I showed up at your door that first night. The man murdered an eleven-year-old he was _in love with_ , and yet _he_ gets remarried and moves on while _I_ live a miserable, lonely life as penance for his sins? Are you _fucking_ kidding me?”

“There’s no need for you to do penance,” Hardy frowned, ignoring her comments about her ex-husband. He would forever be angry with the legal system which let him off, but refused to give the man another second of his time. Ellie was his focus, and had been from the first moment of suspicion all those years ago.

“Isn’t that why you originally came to Broadchurch?” she smiled sardonically. “As penance for Sandbrook?”

“Fair enough.”

They sat in silence, listening as the tide rolled in. The moon was half-full and it was a cloudy night, with only just enough light to see her profile.

“I do.”

“Do what?”

“What you said, when- I… do too.”

His breath caught, heart leaping so wildly he wondered if his pacemaker would go off. “What?”

“I just… I don’t know if I can handle that in the light of day again,” she said quietly, playing with her fingers. “If I _deserve_ that. I keep thinking, ‘what will Beth say’? I can’t lose her friendship again. If she pulls away, we’ll never fix it. She’s all I have, after you. I can’t lose you both.”

Hardy sighed deeply, staring out to sea. “She might surprise you.”

Ellie snorted, shaking her head. “Nah. And with _you_? She might say she’s all right at first, but that little voice in the back of her head will start up. She’ll remember the accusations during the trial, and she’ll wonder. That _fucking_ voice will ask if maybe I didn’t see the truth of Joe ‘cause I was too busy fucking you.”

“She wouldn’t think that.”

“Wouldn’t she, though? I would.”

“Ellie…”

She took a shuddering breath. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to offer you… everything. It is- can it be enough that I feel the same?”

Hardy looked up at the sky, studying the stars. He wanted her, wanted to be with her, and had long since accepted a willingness to take what she would give. Could he accept a physical relationship in lieu of an emotional one? He’d considered the possibility of it being the other way around, and he’d been fine with that. Sex was great, but he wanted emotional intimacy; he _needed_ the emotional intimacy.

Did he need her more?

“I want- I _need_ to hear you say it,” he said quietly. “We can keep this in the dark if that’s what you want, keep it quiet, but… I need something real, Ellie. I need a real relationship. It can’t just be you showing up for a fuck in the middle of the night and leaving once you’re satisfied.”

“Oi, what’re you two weirdos up to?”

Hardy couldn’t help his groan as none other than Beth Latimer jogged up to them, panting. “Hi, Beth.”

“Hey Hardy.” She gave him a friendly enough smile before catching sight of Ellie’s face. “El? What’s wrong? What’d you do to her?” Beth settled on the seawall on Ellie’s other side, leaning forward to scowl at him as she wrapped a protective arm around Ellie’s shoulders.

He hesitated only a moment before shrugging. _In for a penny, in for a pound_. “Beth, question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“You mean the world to her, and she’s rather concerned about your reaction, but I’d like to hear your honest thoughts.”

“Okay…” Beth narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“Alec!” Ellie hissed, but he ignored her.

“How would you feel if Ellie and I were together? Romantically, I mean.”

After a moment, she began to laugh. “Shit, is that all? You had me worried!”

“What?” Ellie blinked at her, head tilting.

“I figured that’s why he came back,” she tilted her head towards him. “Especially once Daisy went to London.”

Ellie’s mouth dropped open, and even Hardy had to admit to some surprise at her cavalier attitude. “Seriously? You don’t have an issue?”

Beth just shrugged her shoulders. “You think if I had any reservations about him I’d let our daughters go off to live together in London for uni? Just answer me one thing.”

“Anything.” Hardy leaned forward, bracing himself for any possibility.

“Were you having an affair of any sort before Joe was acquitted? A shag, a kiss, anything?”

He snorted. “I offered her a hug right after he changed his plea and she basically told me to fuck off. What do you think?”

After a moment Beth nodded. “Then, no. I’m good. Wait, Jesus, have you _not_ been together all this time ‘cause you were worried about _my_ opinion?!”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” Ellie protested weakly, earning herself a loud scoff.

“Now that, that is pathetic. Right, here’s what we’re going to do. It’s a Friday night, Fred will come stay with me and you two go shag each other silly. Ellie, when you can pry yourself out of bed – not necessarily tomorrow – you’re going to come to mine, we’ll send the kids to yours with David, we’ll demolish a few bottles of wine and you’ll tell me every detail. Capise?”

“Uh… okay?”

“Great! Just ring me when you’re headed over. Have a great weekend.” And she was off again, putting her headphones back in and running down the path.

“I can’t _believe_ you just did that,” Ellie fumed, whacking his leg. “Wanker.”

“D’you want to tell me what your _real_ objection is, then?” he asked shrewdly. “Or did you think you could hide behind that forever?”

“How was I supposed to know you’d willingly talk to someone? I don’t think that’s happened before.”

“Miller, it might behoove you to remember that I’m a detective too. I know when I’m being lied to.”

She opened her mouth and promptly shut it, but he could see the thought as though it were lit in neon. All she said, however, was “How?”

“How what?”

Ellie turned to him, wide eyes heavy with tears as her lower lip trembled. “How can you think I deserve happiness or… or _love_ after Joe?”

Hardy’s heart ached at the soft question, but kept his expression bland. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You know what he did. You were the _first_ to know.”

“Aye,” he agreed, inching his hand along the seawall towards hers, “but that was him. Not you.”

“I was his wife.”

“And as I recall, not two minutes after you found out the truth you beat the ever-living shit out of him.”

“Costing us a conviction!”

“Well…” That was true enough, though he grimaced at the thought. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

She sniffled. “You’re too nice to me.”

Hardy laughed at that, loudly. “Never heard you say _that_ before. Usually you complain I’m yellin’ at you.” In truth, he liked it when she yelled. He’d always had a thing for fiery women with short tempers, loved the passion she inspired in him when she went toe to toe, defending her point of view and not taking his shit.

He’d liked it even better over the last six months when it would lead to a quick and dirty shag wherever they could get a minute’s privacy. (They never got a hotel room, though- and he loved her a little more for understanding why without needing to ask.)

“We believe in the same things,” Ellie said quietly, “even if we have different ideas of how to best go about making it happen.” And, finally, she slipped her thumb over his, rubbing it gently.

Shifting to face her, he relaxed slightly to see the tears were gone, though slight shimmering paths down her cheeks were still present. “I love you. And I believe, genuinely, that we both deserve peace as an absolutely bare minimum. Our misery helps no one, and those who committed the crimes we pay penance for get to be happy while we suffer? Fuck that.”

“Okay.”

“Aye?”

Ellie turned to face him, meeting his eye and putting on a brave smile. “Yes.”

All of the tension of the last six months bled out of him in an instant, heart soaring as it filled with the love he’d tried so desperately to hold back. Leaning in to kiss her, his lips had barely brushed hers before she spoke one last time, a soft giggle and whisper.

“I love you too.”


End file.
